iPad, Disappointment in the making

Apple just announced the long awaited paradigm shift inducing iPad! The device to kill all devices after you buy your iPad you will never need another device, EVER!!!!

See I don’t need a Sarc Mark. What an anticlimax, many people are already calling the iPad a 10″ iPhone, which it isn’t… It’s not even that. The iPad doesn’t do voice, and you need to pay $200 + $30/Month to get 3g Data, and it’s not going to be available subsidised on contract either.

But it’s got a 1Ghz processor surely that means it can do multitasking too? Nope… Single task, but it’ll do that task REALLY FAST!

This is an apple device, my understanding is that it doesn’t allow you to view PDFs, so it’s use as an eBook reader will probably be limited to stuff you can buy from iTunes. It’s an Apple product so chances are Apple will leverage the immense  library of media available on the iTunes store to rip a hole in your wallet so deep you might as well just sign your salary over to them. I don’t see it playing divx or MKV or anything other than whatever the iTunes store sells.

But some one will release a bit of software for it that plays other types of media, you can install apps on this thing can’t you? Yeah but… No. Apple don’t like you releasing software that loses them money, the chances of such a piece of software getting approved is IMHO very unlikely, I reckon Apple will cite piracy prevention as their reason for disallowing it, not revenue protection.

It’s got a bajillion apps already written for it in the apps store though that’s a plus isn’t it? Yes and again no… The Apple store may have a Bajillion apps available for it, but 90% of those apps are pointless toys ( A statistic I just made up) and of the remaining 10% 90% of those do the same thing as another app, you have the choice of a million apps that do the same thing, and they aren’t optimized for the iPad’s bigger screen, so until they get an upgrade they will look like a proverbial baboon’s bum. They’ll get upgraded quickly though won’t they, I mean my favourite app’s writer is a genius he can fix teh codez by tomorrow! He may well be able to do that, but it’ll take Apple’s Draconian approval process months  to approve everyone’s favourite app upgrade.

It’s not a netbook, it’s not an mp3 player, it’s not an eReader, it’s not a PMP, it’s er what is it?

If Apple have created a paradigm shifting device with the iPad all they have done is shifted the paradigm about 3mm to the left and it’s on a slope so it’s slid back to where it was.

No doubt hundred of the Apple faithful will rush to stores to buy the iPad, Apple will make money hand over fist and Steve Jobs will buy himself another black turtleneck sweater. Of course they will, Apple is not a software company it’s a religion, the faithful don’t care if it’s crap or not, the new iPad has the Apple logo on it so they must own it to ascend to the next level of the Apple church, it’s a bit like scientology isn’t it, spend more money become a higher level Apple Fanboy… I’m a reformed member of the Church, I was there when things were bad for Apple, before there was a bandwagon to jump on, I know what it’s like, anything Apple release is an object of desire no matter how pointless it is.

I’m going to end this rant now before it gets personal…

But honestly “iPad?” The first thing I thought of when I heard that is female sanitary products…