About me…

No this isn’t going to be a post about me, I’m rubbish at that. It’s a post about the way those words make me feel. Am I the only one who finds being confronted with a little box with only those two words as guidance really intimidating? Facebook, Twitter, you name it they all seem to have a little text box that says something along the lines of “About Me” what the hell are you supposed to write in there? I don’t like to advertise what I do for a living, mainly because the second you tell someone you are a software engineer they run a mile, or ask you to fix their computer. I was in for a blood test the other day and the nurse asked me what I did for a living by way of just chatting to me, I said I was a computer programmer, and the next thing I knew she was asking me for advice about setting up a proprietary medical records database… Seriously…

I’m not one to talk about my hobbies either, I mean I play video games, I role play, I read, I occasionally watch TV and or films, I used to go to a lot of gigs because I worked in the entertainment industry, but don’t any more because I  got sick of them (And got  a 9 to 5 job that made moonlighting as a stage tech was difficult). I don’t really do anything interesting, I’m not really into any sports, I’d like to to get back into martial arts because I used to practice Tae Kwon Do (I even got a black belt) but I had to stop because I was school got in the way.

I don’t particularly consider the enormous amount  of time I’m on the internet as a hobby, but it takes up a shit load of my time, I am not a “blogger” I do blog but I’m not a blogger (there is a song in that), I try to write fiction but I’m by no means a writer, I own a DSLR and enjoy taking photos but I wouldn’t describe myself as a photographer either. I don’t think I do anything enough to consider it a hobby, I just do stuff. So what the hell do I write in the about me box when I sign up to a website? Usually I write something along the lines of it’s none of your business, or I don’t see the point in filling this out. But then I see other people’s profiles, where they describe themselves as artists or writers, or tell you of some great life adventure that they are on.

I’m not on a great life adventure, I enjoy my life, but I’m not full enough of myself to think that my dabbling in various things is interesting to people, so I don’t bother telling anyone. Is that the problem? Maybe it is, maybe I should be more full of myself. The I would be able to write things like I am a wannabe writer who has tried and failed time and time again to get a novel off the ground only to fail due to sheer laziness. Or that I’m an aspiring game developer who one day want’s to rule the world with his independant game genius, but can’t be bothered writing computer programs in his spare time because that’s what I do all day, so invariably I will never actually be a game developer. No wait that’s not confidence that self deprecating isn’t it? But isn’t being self deprecating the in thing now, surely that’s what all the cool kids are doing, you say something that is in some way self deprecating in the vain hope that people will mistake it for modesty when you are in fact as shit as you say you are, in fact you are more shit than that.

I’m not a cool kid, I’m not hip, I’m not Home with the downies (Thank you Dylan Moran for that, see I can’t even come up with my own turns of phrase).

I’m me, and I am a fairly mundane person, my wit is about as sharp as the cardboard tube you find in the middle of loo roll but I’m cool with that, I just can’t be bothered typing that in a text box that is supposed to sum up my entire existence.

Okay this is technically a post about me, but I’m not narcissistic enough to have wanted it to be, it was meant to be a rant… Honest guv.

Image via Frank Chimero.

Author: Omar

Omar is the main/only contributor to Ohmz.net. He is a Computer Programmer based in Glasgow Scotland.