Story Idea: History is Written by the Winners

In the Bible that dude God killed 2,038,344 people, and Satan only 10. Maybe Satan is the good guy but he just lost the battle.

I read the above tweet this morning and had a thought for a story, what if god was the bad guy and he just put himself in a good light because as the victor he was the one who told the story?

I assume the story would be a bit Hellblazer stories with a John Constantine like character but possibly not. It could actually end up being a double bluff where Satan convinces a faithful person, probably a priest, that he is in the right only to find that at the end that Satan had tricked the priest and the whole thing was meant to be a test of his faith…

 

 

Story Idea: Culinary Conspiracy

I had a thought this morning, what we didn’t need food, food was a drug that we obtained a chemical dependency to by eating when we were children. Had we not eaten as children we wouldn’t need to eat now.

I know it’s a completely ridiculous but the concept of Breatharianism does exist, I wouldn’t even call it a psuedo science. But there being a conspiracy by the evil food industry to make us dependant on food would make an interesting plot for a science fiction novel or short story at least…

Johnston Hurricane Bawbag Appeal

A humorous appeal has been doing the rounds (That’s just one random example) on the internet in the wake of Hurricane Bawbag, I’ve also seen it reffered to as hurricane Hamish and Hurricane Senga which is the earliest reference I can find to it way back in 2009 it’s been slightly changed since then, but the sentiment is pretty much the same:

Johnstone Hurricane Appeal – Please give generously!

Hurricane “bawbag” hit the Johnstone district of Renfrewshire in the early hours of yesterday morning. Victims were seen wandering round aimlessly muttering “Pure mental, man no?”

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £15,000 worth of improvements. Several priceless collections of mementos from Manchester and Seville were damaged beyond repair. Three historically important areas of burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived the next morning. Police state that incidences of looting, muggings and car crime were particularly high during the night, but calmed down when the hurricane struck.

Forty-two asylum seekers were rescued from an apartment in Dundonald Place , rescuers are going to search the second bedroom later today.

Radio Clyde has reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Johnstone .

One resident, Bernadette O’Reilly, a 15 year old mother of 5 said “It gied me a pure fright so’s it did. My little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into ma bedroom greetin’. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Natasha-Jordan-Jade slept through it all. Ah wiz still pure shaking when I was watching Jezza the next morning, so ah wiz”. Neighbour Joseph ‘young young’ McGurn said “The noise wiz tremendous. At first ah thoat it wiz the young team coming oot of The Globe Bar, but it wiz even worser.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Bon Accord Pola Cola and two tons of Cheese Toasties to the area to help stricken locals..

Rescue workers are still searching the rubble and have found quantities of personal belongings including Benefit books and bone china from Poundland.

Residents in neighbouring Paisley offered to accommodate those left homeless, but the Johnstone people decided they were better off where they were..

A Council spokesman has indicated that it would take take at least a full morning to get things looking like normal and added “There has been a pure Blitz spirit, everybody’s been pure blitzed”.

Poundland has agreed to stay open 24 hours to allow residents to refurbish their homes. The Government has pledged to ensure that bookies, pubs, chip shops and other essential services will reopen as soon as possible.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This Appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing most sought after includes – Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Hoodies, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), Shell suits (female), white sport socks, Rockport boots or Adidas trainers. Food parcels are also urgently required. Please try to include – Microwave chips, Greggs Pies , Sugar Puffs, Tins of spaghetti, Gypsy Creams, Curly-Wurlies, Red Cola, cans of Special Brew and Diamond White, bottles of Buckie or El Dorado , glue or hairspray.

Just 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms. £2 buys chips, crisps and Irn-Bru for a family of nine. £3 will pay for a pouch of tobacco, papers and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

Breaking News*

Rescue workers have found a 10-year-old girl in the rubble Apparently she was smothered in raspberry Alco- pop. When asked where she was bleeding from she replied ” Craigview Avenue , whit’s it got to dae wi’ you ya fudd?”

Welcome to Scotland…

The winds were quite strong, they caused a wind turbine to catch fire in the borders (Daily Mail)…

So the Clyde is Pretty Much Bursting it’s Banks in Yoker & Renfrew…

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Anyone in Scotland at the moment probably knows about the Red Alert Weather warning,  The image above is taken from Yoker the River is over the banks.

Below are images of the cycle path that I take into work it’s under a foot of water, luckily in order to affect us it’ll need to rise another 2-3 metres. I guess this is why my insurance costs more for living next to a river…

It’s so windy out there that I had trouble standing still to take the pictures, and when we were on our way back to the house a gust of wind picked Avarinne up for a second…

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Retro Gaming Advent: Day 2 Kings Valley

I must have spent years of my childhood playing this game, the basic premise is not that dissimilar from Load Runner, except with more of a puzzle twist, you are an explorer trapped in a series of pyramids and you have to collect all the “Soul Gems” to open the door to the next level. Collect them in the right order while avoiding traps and monsters and using a variety of tools.

I’ve managed to find a few remakes of this game: Kings ValleyKings Valley TelosKV2Kings Valley Teaser, and I’ve previously tested them to see that they work, I just can’t remember which is which and I’m too busy at the moment to mess around with them to find out.

If I recall all of them but Kings Valley Teaser work fine on Windows, the teaser is a project in progress. The one marked Telos supposedly replaces the main character with The Doctor from Doctor Who…

I plan on putting together a blog post about the Kings Valley series at some point but given I’ve committed to posting a free retro remake a day this is all I’ve got time to post at the moment.

King

Penguin Adventure Fan Remake! Also Nemesis and Castlevania!


I’ve blogged about penguin adventure before while I was hunting for games for my planned Retro Game Adventi stumbled across news that Kotai (Konami-Taito Fan) is working on a multi-player remake of Penguin Adventure to mark it’s 25th anniversary.  There is little information on their site, which lists a few of the other retro remakes they have made such as a multiplayer Castlevania remake, a multiplayer Bubble Bobble remake and a multiplayer Nemesis (Gradius in the US/UK) remake.

There are a few more videos on their/his YouTube Channel, but all the commentary is in Spanish, thanks to Google translate though:

Heading to 4 players online. The game will be available for download in a few days www.remakesonline.com

I can’t wait!

I’ll need to download the Nemesis remake I loved that game when I was a kid too and the idea of playing a multiplayer version of it is quite appealing… Here is a video of Nemesis online being played, it looks awesome!

Retro Gaming Advent: Day 1 Marathon Series

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I’m going to try something over the next 25 days I’m going to post a free to play retro game you can download to enjoy over the “Festive Season” Today’s suggestion is the Marathon Series long before they moved onto to create Halo, Bungie made a series of Mac first person shooters under the moniker of Marathon. The source code for the engine is now open and you can download all three games for free for the Mac, Windows and Linux.

What are you waiting for?

Marathon Marathon 2: Durandal
Marathon Infinity