Awesome Quotes About Death From Reddit

I was browsing the comments to a random Reddit post and came across these two gems:

[–]awesomeideas 295 points  ago*

In fact, death itself was invented in 1762 by the Guild of Accountants which wanted to branch out its actuarial division.

[–]Nymaz 204 points  ago

Sure that’s what they claim. The truth is they were sick of people saying “Nothing is certain but taxes” and invented death to deflect some of the grumbling.

One is a response to the other, but as people quickly pointed out they are both very Douglas Adams/Terry Pratchet. As Reddit threads seem to fade away into obscurity, and I guess these will be quoted elsewhere I wanted to do my part to preserve what I think is the origin of these two quotes.

For all I know they were stolen from somewhere else, but on the odd chance they are original…